We often unintentionally duplicate our emotions, unnecessarily making them overall harder on us.
For example, you’ve been going through a hard time, and then one day it gets a little easier and you feel content. But you don’t just feel content, you almost feel airy; almost like you’re excited. You don’t know why, but you do know that you feel content for once finally.
What you don’t know, and what takes a lot of time and practiced to realize, is that you also feel happy that you feel content. It’s not necessarily a bad thing – except that it stops you from living in the moment and feeling content. You end up focusing on the fact that you’re happy that you’re content, not that you’re content. Confusing I know, but follow me?
Likewise, the same thing happens when we experience negative emotions. Having a bad day, quite often we don’t just have a bad day. Often having a bad day results with us feeling frustrated. Which is normal.
But then we end up duplicating and intensifying this emotion by feeling frustrated that we feel frustrated.
Although it doesn’t apply to everyone, as some people have a much more balanced sense of emotions and self understanding, some of us find themselves struggling with emotions much more.
I encourage everyone to seek out counselling and therapy and self-help when they find themselves having a hard time. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with you, just that an alternative perspective is often very helpful when we become stuck in our mind and stuck in our ways.
Understanding cognitive behavioral therapy is a major component of self understanding and emotional regulation. Sometimes those who struggle with emotional regulation end up finding themselves on a rollercoaster of moods and sensations.
What I came to realize overtime and over many years of struggling with my mental health and emotional regulation, is that I find myself on a roller coaster quite often.
I believe everyone knows the saying, “I’m so sick and tired of feeling so sick and tired.” Again, it’s a totally reasonable feeling and thought.
The point of this right now is just to help you and everyone else reading this understand part of what’s going on inside your brain. There’s many components to learn and realize, this is just a slice of them.
An example of a roller coaster day for me, would be: Emotion one, feeling frustrated from an argument or situation that didn’t go over smoothly. Emotion two, I realize that this is not what I was hoping my day would be or how I was feeling, so I become more frustrated. Emotion three, In my frustration I begin to think of the negative aspects that happened in the situation, and naturally in consequence I think about other related negative aspects and start feeling depressed. I end up focusing on the re-occurrence in life of negative feelings feel depressed that I feel frustrated so often and about being frustrated from the situation.
I’m stuck in a paradox.
I later go home after work and things go well and we have fun and we laugh and our son goes to bed in a good mood, so the next day I feel content. I end up feeling happy that I feel content. And then I feel relieved that I’m feeling happy because I feel content.
And although positive feelings are often seen as, well, good things; there is such thing as too much of a good thing. The higher you feel – the farther you have to fall when you experience something of the opposite of emotion.
This is where balancing the brain left and right, upstairs and downstairs, understanding your amygdala, and the thoughts-feelings-actions triangle come into play. To understand that part, click here and check out my page explaining this.
What I’d like you to realize, takes time and self-reflection. Quite often we experience reactions to events considered that are like a knee-jerk reaction or an automatic thought.
We miss the few seconds between thought and emotion and are able to turn that thought around and influence a different emotion. Sometimes that’s not always possible, but we miss the moment of realization of the emotion blooming.
When we begin to express a thought that turns itself into an emotion, there is a sensation felt inside the body. Whether it be a tightness in your head, tightness in your chest, punching of the hand, an automatic response sensation so to speak.
It takes one recognizing that automatic response to interrupt the thought that wants to come with it.
So what I want you to try the next day following, is self-awareness. If you find yourself responding before you feel you should have this is for you. If you find yourself in arguments often, or internal tribulations, this is for you. Right before you say something or you think something – there’s a sensation felt inside the body, triggered by the perception in the brain. Try to change that trigger instead of making a thought, and inturn another action. Take a deep breath and hold it. Try to name whatever feeling that is inside your body before your thought is created.
Did you feel your head go tight? Was there a pressure in your chest? Or is there a surge of energy through your arm that made you want to clench your fist? Did you have a surge of sensation through your chest that made you want to quickly deeply inhale, say with excitement?
What this does is help bring the logical side of the brain back to the emotional side. Quite often we become infatuated with the effect emotion brings us. And it overwhelms our senses and focus.
**This does not indicate mental health issues or mental conditions, or medication side effects.
This is not meant to override any suggestions, instructions or medication given by that of a specialist. Please seek advise of a specialist if you feel you need to do so.**