For the Love of Parenting


Has anyone felt the struggle and tention in a relationship when you have your first child? It brings a lot of pressure to the table; begs for a lot of understanding from both sides.

Some relationships really struggle – like mine. My husband was left feeling like he couldn’t do much. He started feeling left out because the attention was all on our baby.

Eventually we started trying to be able to make more time for each other but as parents know that’s pretty hard to do. When you do get an hour to yourself we’re often left feeling exhausted and tired. You have to muster up all the remaining energy to give to your partner even knowing that doing so instead of caring for yourself will in turn make the next day harder. Because you know your baby’s going to be up throughout the night.

Tensions rise as do emotions. Reactions are exaggerated by lack of sleep and mental drain.

Often the mom ends up being the one to spend the majority of the time with the baby while the dad is away working throughout the day. So naturally the mom knows things and learns things that take more time for the dad to learn. Naturally the mom will speak up if something’s not being done quite right and then the dad is left feeling like he’s doing things wrong. Which adds to the tension. As the child grows slowly parents get their independence back.

Around the age of 2 the child is probably sleeping a little better, for longer stretches. The family can go out and do things that they couldn’t do when they just had a little baby.
You can stay up at night and have a couple drinks with friends with a monitor nearby to keep an ear on a child sleeping.

You start to ReDiscover who you are now as a parent.

In a lot of families this is when parents can start to reconnect with each other and rebuild their relationship; but in other’s it is when relationships can start to struggle more and the feelings of unresolved issues in the beginning of Parenthood are left festering while emerging Independence is dangled in front of you like a carrot.

Actions and desires can get misinterpreted. It’s hard when as parents you want to do everything that’s best for your child. Most know that a tense relationship between parents is not healthy for a child so the parents push themselves to find balance.

Sometimes though, the end goal makes us lose the feeling of being heard because you’re more focussed on trying to fix things than understand them.

Published by K.S.

Full time tradeswoman, mom and wife, I consider myself an advocate for children, mental well-being, and drive for change. Coming from a broken home and a hurtful raising left me struggling for the rest of my life, continuously in and out of doctors, hospitals, therapists and pharmacies. I just wanted to be and feel normal. Who knew that becoming a parent would help all that? My fear of ever letting my child feel the way I did growing up drove me into the books, research, and parenting community. Absorbing everything like a sponge, from development, children psychology, and child-rearing, to judgement, PPD, and establishing boundaries. Despite my blog name, I'm not here to judge but to share my knowledge of poor parenting from first hand experiences, and educate others on new ways to approach things. The name "The Judgemental Mom" doesn't really mean that it's a site to judge others, but a site about other's who are judgemental, or who claim I am judgmental. Pop over to my site to learn more great things about yourself, children, DIY and more.

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