Kate Schaefer

Liscenced & full-time General Machinist, Mom, Wife and blogger.

I consider myself an advocate for children, mental well-being, and drive for change. Coming from a broken home and a hurtful raising left me struggling for the rest of my life.

I was raised without the knowledge, methods, and understanding that our society has come to study and realize today. I was often put on the spot in front of family, my feelings were invalidated, and emotional expression was punished. I was frequently told to control myself, that I should be ashamed of myself, that I should be embarrassed about myself. When I tried to seek out attention and comfort I was pushed away. I was compared to other children and told “why can’t you be like them.” I was forced to do things I didn’t understand, and didn’t feel comfortable doing because my parents decided that was what was best for me. I always felt misunderstood, lonely, and lost. Once I was out in the world on my own, attending college and starting my career I was continuously in and out of doctors, hospitals, therapists and pharmacies. I just wanted to be and feel normal.

Flash forward 10+ years from then, and I was married, a homeowner, and starting a family. Knowing that I was bringing a child into this world made me reflect on my own childhood. Although I’ve healed the wounds left from my family, I never connected the dots. Why I felt the way I did growing up, why I reacted the way I did to my parents, sibling, and other family’s actions and choices. I set out to learn. To stop the pattern from repeating itself. But I could only respond to situations the only way I knew how, which was how people responded to me – something I was not okay with. Who knew that becoming a parent would help me figure out all that?

 Although I had already been in therapy for most of my adult life, I restarted therapy to clear anything lingering. My fear of ever letting my child feel the way I did growing up drove me into the books, research, and parenting community. Absorbing everything like a sponge, from  development, children psychology, and child-rearing, to judgment, PPD, and establishing boundaries.

 After taking in a wealth of outstanding knowledge, I was left thinking how could other parents with troublesome pasts and childhood’s not put forth the same amount of effort to stop patterns from repeating themselves. Then I realized how little resources there are out there for this kind of knowledge unless you have the drive to go find it.

So despite my blog name, I’m not here to judge but to share my knowledge of poor parenting from first hand experiences, and educate others on new ways to approach things.

The name “The Judgemental Mom” doesn’t really mean that it’s a site to judge others, but a site about other’s who are judgmental, or who claim I am judgmental. Well if I’m being honest, maybe there’s a smidge of judging here and there… but the main point of my site and the majority of the contents revolves around trying to help others. To share the knowledge and information I have learned through my queries. To summarize it and focus on key points and details. To cut out the boring and redundant sections (as best I can) , so that my readers who don’t like to read novels can learn what I’ve learned and apply it to themselves and their children.

Hobbies & Interests
  • Spending time with my husband, son & fur-son
  • Work full time at a shop running mills and lathes, machining production runs and proto-type jobs
  • I am a lover of all animals and tiny humans
  • Being outdoors in *nice* weather is where my vibes are at. I love summertime vehicle and garage projects, gardening, swimming & relaxing