This Is About You, Seriously.
Understanding those knee-jerk reactions begins with understanding yourself.
Firstly, I’d like to say that just because you had to endure something growing up, and ‘survived’, does not mean that you should have, nor should you do the same to your children.
Secondly, I’d like you to reflect on those things that you had to endure; that you had to survive. There’s a good chance that if you have not handled these memories appropriately, but merely suppressed them to “forget about it and move on”, your brain’s wiring does not just forget them.
This was my drive to stop the pattern from repeating itself. Find where it started.
There are going to be things that are so embedded in your mind from the experiences you had prior to becoming a parent, that your only way going forward will be to do things differently.
Then there are things that you may choose to – or subconsciously choose to – suppress. Things that were left unresolved or lacking closure – both physically and mentally. In those cases, it is impossible to go forward without intentionally or unintentionally recreating those responses, situations, feelings, etc., again during your turn to parent children. In those cases, you won’t even be aware that you are mimicking the hurtful ways your parents had once done things.
Check out other posts on parenting yourself, here.