Parenting Your Inner Child

Understanding Your Own Story

Having a clear understanding of your own life history not only helps you remember why you are who you are, but it enables you to help your children understand who they are. When you understand how your left and right brain function, you begin to see the filter each side applies to you perspective in situations and of memories.

Often we detach our right side – the emotional side – and filter negative events through our left side – the logical, literal side – in order to suppress them and detach ourselves from the feelings we cannot process well on our own.

Other times, people find themselves detached for the opposite reasons – they are so filled with emotions and sensations that they lose touch with what is going on around them. Often, they don’t understand the logic behind the sensations, thoughts or emotions they have, but they become emancipated and often don’t remember time even passing. This happens when we detach ourselves from the left side of our brain.

In these cases, if you were to try to create an autobiography of yourself, you require both sides of your brain to pull the story from. When you have unresolved issues, it will make it difficult to even recall the memory from that time of your life, or it will end up overwhelming your sensations. Either way it will make it incredibly difficult to tell an accurate depiction of what had happened. When you try to discuss that story, it will either sound monotone and emotionless, or the emotions described won’t make any sense.

When you think of your own life story, it activates your memories and how they were “saved” within your mind. This is also where implicit and explicit memory and their following pyramid come into play, because stories connect themselves through the past, present and future. When you do this while applying the left and right brain to your analysis, your can slowly bring understanding to your story, and move your memories to sections of the brain they belong in. Simultaneously, creating a strong foundation of yourself, for yourself and your child, therefore creating a secure foundation for your attachment relationship and ability to provide a nurturing environment.