Parenting Yourself, Seriously, Voice boxing it

Release Yourself


There are two types of guilt. Functional guilt and dysfunctional guilt

Functional guilt serve the purpose, it makes you feel bad – guilty – when you have done something wrong. It urges you to do the right thing. For example if you lashed out at your coworker or spouse because you were in a bad mood; Or say as a child, you stole something from someone. In this case, guilt is functional and helps you think about what you did wrong and how to make it right and what to try not to do in the future.

Dysfunctional guilt does not serve a purpose. Like when you feel guilty for something happening that was out of your control or beyond your circumstance. This type of guilt just makes you feel bad without a solution. People dwell on the feeling and allow it to bring them down despite the situation not being a result of the “guilty person’s” direct intent or action. For example, kids often feel bad or guilty when something happens to their parents – like if they lose their job or have no money to pay the bills. As adults we sometimes feel guilty when we have friends or family in bad situations and cannot help them. We feel guilty because we think we SHOULD be helping them, or fixing their situation. The reality of it though, is that you are not the cause of their situation, you don’t have intentions to make them endure a hard time, and this type of guilt does not serve a helping purpose.

You can let go of dysfunctional guilt and accept the situation as is while still showing empathy and compassion.

Parenting kids, Seriously, Parenting Yourself, Seriously, Voice boxing it

Emotional Dysregulation And Invalidating Environments


Emotional vulnerability is emotional sensitivity, emotional reactivity, and a slow return to emotional baseline.
(Linehan 1993a)

An invalidating environment is when people/parents tell you you’re wrong for experiencing your emotions. They may even punish you or ignore you when you get emotional. In some cases, people may acknowledge your emotions, but in a case where they are the ones causing them, they will not stop and instead keep doing what they’re doing to hurt you.

Another example of an invalidating environment, is when you are punished for being defensive or reacting in a defensive or emotional way during a conversation or argument. For example, if someone does or says something and you tell them that’s not fair to you or that what they have done has hurt you and their response is ‘waah, it’s all about you isn’t’, then in turn you get defensive and upset because they didn’t care how you felt, and finally their response is ‘i’m not your emotional punching bag’.

This will make anyone go crazy.

Now put someone like a child a who naturally is emotionally dysregulated and its adults jobs to guide them into regulation.

Invalidating children and any adult plants a seed of mental distress and disorders; that over time, without help and WITH persistent unhelpful invalidating environments, blossom into a plethora of mental and emotional struggles.